i cant help but think

That the past few weeks of morbid thoughts was a premonition of sort. I came home at 3 o'clock in the morning, to find my mom awake, not unusual at all but the look on her face was puzzled and numb. Right away i asked what was wrong, then i noticed my dad standing in the corner of my eye in the living room, that on the other hand was strange, my father being up at this time is rare and never a sign of good news. What felt like forever went by and my mom told me that my paternal grandfather was dead. he suffered a massive heart attack in his sleep. He died without feeling any pain, and i guess that brings some comfort knowing that he went peacefully. I don't see my family often, since they live in France, and i don't usually speak to them often either, i am so glad i spoke to him last Sunday. My father's 60th birthday is on Sunday, at least he will spend it with his family and friends in France, unfortunately he will be in france to attend his father's funeral.

i'm so sad that my unconcieved children will never get to meet this amazing individual, whom i feel i barely even knew