Thursday, February 12, 2009
heartless
Its been so long since I've had my heart, instead i have a hole filled with too many tears. its been 7 months since my ex boyfriend left me, and still we care about each other but the caring causes more and more resentment and space that pushes us apart. He has a girlfriend but can't seem to get over my activities, i am seeing someone who treats me like a goddess, but my heart still belongs to another, i feel like an asshole, i managed to ruin the relationship i always wanted and don't appreciate the boy who will massage me until his fingers are raw and pained, and hold me when i am crying about another. I wonder if I'll ever have my heart back, and if i do get it back will i ever want to give it away again? I don't know what to do with myself any longer, besides focus on me and hope i will get closure somewhere along the way. Love hurts, i don't know whether to be happy when i start going numb, or if i will be sad when i become jaded and the thrill and emotion of life's twist and turns don't phase me.
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ReplyDeleteI must say two years ago I would have been your twin in this situation...hearts like children, are fragile but are amazingly resilient. You are truly an amazing girl, you will have the kind of love you want...soon.
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